


enough

by sidere



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, medical inaccuracy, mentions pretty much everyone else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 01:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10294388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidere/pseuds/sidere
Summary: mike thinks about his brother.





	

**Author's Note:**

> * edited on 9/9/17
> 
> (i am a high school student with no medical knowledge whatsoever. the medical terminology used in this is extremely wrong lmao)
> 
> this also has a very brief mention of attempted rape and vague descriptions of violence (gordon), as well as an equally brief mention of drug addiction, so watch out for that

mike has always been the strong one.

he's always been the one supporting angus, perpetually the insecure kid with poor body image and low self-esteem who always got hit and never hit back. mike protected angus, and he was fine with that arrangement. because he would move heaven and earth to help his brother, and he didn't need to be protected back.

then again, he's never fallen out of a helicopter before.

after the initial terror that comes with a free-fall, the doctor part of his brain kicks in, rapidly running through worst-case scenarios,and he shouldn't have had time to feel scared, because really, it was a short fall but before he knows it it's almost over and when did he get so close to the ground _how did it happen so fast?_

it's kind of like falling asleep, in a way. like when you're exhausted and lying there in the dark and eventually you pass out, but after you wake up again you can't quite remember when exactly it happened.

 

so it had happened like that, in a small, indeterminable fraction of a second, and honestly, he didn't expect to wake up at all. mike's a doctor, a good one, and he knows the odds of surviving a 25-foot fall intact aren't in his favor, to say the very least. he was looking at a coma, at absolute best, and that was if he was very, _very_ lucky.

when he'd gone over to that lawyer and made angus his medical proxy, he hadn't expected a situation like this. of course, it was an important thing to have in place; the point, really, was if there was some horrible accident, he wanted angus to be the one calling the shots, not his dad. mike trusts his brother unconditionally, loves him more than any other person in this world, and there is no one he'd rather be making those decisions than him.

but he hadn't expected it to happen. he hadn't expected it to happen so _soon_.

the first time he opens his eyes, looks at angus and squeezes his fingers as much as he can manage, his brother cries. he carefully wraps his arms around mike's shoulders, his whole body shaking, whispering i _missed you so much_ and _god, mike, i was so worried_ and _i'm so glad you're awake_ , and mike is so, so, tired, but his heart swells as the pain screaming in every inch of his body dulls, and maybe it's just the morphine, but things don't seem so hopeless anymore.

 

angus isn't a complainer. never has been. he's always suffered in silence, as has mike. it's the leighton brothers' way, he thinks. they're both healers, fundamentally, constantly putting other's needs above their own and internalizing their own issues until it isn't possible to keep them inside anymore.

they've always been good at reading each other, but mike wonders far too often how much angus is actually hurting. because no one is _fine_ when their own father doesn't visit them once in rehab, no one is _fine_ when they let the man who tried to rape and kill their best friend bleed out in a parking lot, no one is _fine_ when they've grown up drowned out by their family's successes. he isn't fine, he can't be fine, but angus never says a word.

so one day mike pulls him aside in the break room and says, "you know i'm always here if you need me, right?"

_(somewhere in the dark, he hears "i need you" and his fingers move, just a little bit, and he isn't awake but it's a step in the right direction)_

and angus smiles, squeezes his arm, and says, "i know."

 

it's unsuprising, medically speaking, that he's partially (temporarily?) paralyzed. it's a miracle he woke up with his spine even remotely intact, the way he fell - it's a miracle he _woke up_ \- and he knows there are options, but.

but.

angus stares down at him from his bedside as their father shouts at campbell and dr. rorish, steady and comforting. his brother squeezes his shoulder, and he doesn't say anything, but he's telling him that _it's okay, i'm here for you_ , and that's when it hits mike that angus is being strong, strong for him, and mike is so, so proud.

"i want the surgery," he tells his dad, and angus' hand stays on his shoulder as their father storms out, dr. rorish running after him and campbell giving a quiet _i'll come get you when it's time_ before slipping out of the room.

"hey. it's all right," angus says softly, because mike didn't have to say _i'm scared_ for angus to hear it. he meets his eyes with a healthy amount of concern, but not a trace of pity. and mike knows he's lying - angus has never had a good poker face - but he appreciates the effort nonetheless. "you're going to be okay, mike. i promise."

mike nods, doesn't speak, and tells himself that it's just because he's tired, not because his throat is thick and his eyes are full of tears.

 

he wakes up from the anesthesia and angus is there, holding his hand. it seems like every time he wakes up to a heart monitor reading out his own sinus rhythm the only constant is his brother, warm and comforting and _there_.

 

 _you're the most thoughtful person i know_ , mike tells him, but what he means is _i love you_ , and angus says _thank you_ and squeezes his hand so tight he almost can't feel his fingers, and mike knows that what he means is _i love you_ too.

and things are not okay, not yet, but this is enough. this is enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm not that happy with how this turned out, honestly, but here it is ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> i have a lot of feelings about code black in general. i also have a lot of feelings about angus and mike's relationship, especially the storyline with gordon/angus' addiction/mike's fall and i really wanted to write something abt it so here this is. i kept trying to put mario and neal in here somehow, but it just didn't work. i might write more about this particular storyline though bc i love it so much
> 
> so i guess that's it? lmao. thank you for reading !


End file.
